Everywhere in my life - nothing I see, touch, smell, hear, imagine is without a memory of her.
I didn't get to cry enough today at the Hospital - so I'm a mess right now.
I searched for some recordings of her singing Galileo and Strange Fire ... two of the songs that she sang most often ... I couldn't find them. The sheets have lost her scent - Bek used to smell like her - not so much anymore - I'm losing my sensory reminders of her... too soon, too soon.
I put on my Tilley hat to go walk the dog in the rain. That hat was the present that she gave me for our Honeymoon - an adventure hat with a promise of many adventures to come ....
I miss her terribly.
Dear Lord, please return her to me.
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11 comments:
Dear Troy,
Your plea and prayer are echoed by many who love you and so many who have never met you. Your grief is unique, but you are not alone. Please feel the collective arms of friends and strangers wrapped around you.
As you await the miracle for which we all pray, you will find glimpses of Hyatt in your girls...and through them, she will always be with you.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. Psalm 34:18
God bless you now and always. We are praying hard for you, Hyatt, and your family.
One idea is to create a memory box. Put things in there that bring back great memories. Maybe a special picture, bottle of purfume, etc. When you need a lift, visit the memory box. Something purple, for sure! Shirley
Dear Troy,
I was in your neighborhood this morning for yard sales, and I wish so much that I had bumped into you. Though I do not know you, I would recognize you from the pictures on the blog. I am praying for you and for Hyatt and for the girls constantly. My heart just aches for you right now because you are in the middle of the "storm", and I know you must feel so lost and alone without Hyatt by your side. The storm will pass though, and Hyatt is with you. We are praying for miracles and I believe that God will show His grace and mercy through Hyatt's miracle. I would have given you a hug today had I seen you in the rain. You need lots of hugs right now, and I pray that those that know and love you surround you with love and comfort in your time of need and sorrow. Sometimes, all a person needs when they are experiencing such terrible times of grief like yours is for someone just to sit with them quietly and grieve with them. I pray that your friends are there for you during those times. God hears your prayers, and in His time, your prayers will be answered.
I am sending you my hug. Know that we are all praying for God's miracle for Hyatt and your family.
Madeline
My dear Troy,
I weep with you. I am so sorry you are suffering the absence of your beautiful Hyatt. Your constant reminders of Hyatt are her connection with you for now. Love remains, of this I am certain. God bless you. Carol
Dearest Troy, You're doing the best you can, and having heard so much about you from Hyatt, Anne, and other friends, we all know you have such integrity and character. We're getting ready for our prayer time in about 30 minutes. We love you, and believe God CAN! Give the girls a big hug, and Jane, too! Love, Pam Hitchcock Mebane, Greensboro
I have been following Hyatt's progress through your blog for quite sometime now. I live in a different sub-division in Bristow and am friends with several friends of Hyatt and fellow members of BMAK. While I don't know Hyatt personally, it is evident that she is an amazing wife, mother & friend.
I have been touched by your story - the tragedy, the love, the devotion, the faith. My heart breaks for all that your family has had to endure. The burden is unfair and extremely premature.
I can only imagine how torn Troy is to be going back to work. I finally felt compelled to share with you because I am also a nurse on IMC. Hyatt was not my patient last night, but I wanted to share with you some of the caring things that happen when you aren't there in hopes that it will ease your mind, if ever so slightly, when you cannot be at Hyatt's side.
Her nurse last night was Mary - a fabulous nurse. We nurses often talk about how we take care of our patients like they are our family members. How would we want our family to be cared for? Often times it's the little things that make all the difference in the world. Mary told me she gave Hyatt a great bath- taking extra time to wash her hair and gently combing out the "bedhead" that comes with spending time in a hospital bed. I don't know about you, but I always feel better after a nice bath and clean hair.
After my shift, I took a moment to peak in on Hyatt. Her sheets were clean and crisp. Her beautiful blanket was pulled up. She was calm and resting comfortably. I whispered to her to keep fighting and told her that she had more people praying for her than she could imagine.
I pray for strength and healing for your family.
May it be a small comfort to know that the entire staff on IMC will care for Hyatt like she is our family member - and Mary will be back again tonight =)
Troy - I just want to give you a shout out so you can grasp just how many of us are out here praying for you. I believe we had the chance to meet you 3 times (2x camping w/ Pete & Patricia, once at Duke graduation), but you made an impression on us with how much you cared for each other.I know God will never give us more than we can handle. He apparently thinks you are one tough cookie. I remember when I met you & Hyatt. We drove up to the campsite with Pete & Patricia (Bryan was at Duke w/ Pete at the time). You and Hyatt had been there for a while before we got there and came to greet us with your matching hats on. You were quite the camping team. I also remember one evening we were sitting around and discussing how pretty all the Fall colors were at the time. You said "Yes, they are very pretty. They remind me of Hyatt". Now that Fall is here I hope you are surrounded by the beautiful Hyatt colors and feel some peace. Hang in there and take comfort in your girls - I'm so glad she gave you those:) Sending lots of good vibes your way. - Janelle Urioste
To Troy, the big brother I always wanted,
Monday, September 15th was 2 days after I first heard about Hyatt. It was the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows and it could not have been more appropriate:
Stabat Mater
At the cross her station keeping,
Stood the mournful Mother weeping,
Close to Jesus to the last.
Through her heart, his sorrow sharing,
All his bitter anguish bearing,
Now at length the sword had passed.
Oh, how sad and sore distressed
Was that Mother highly blessed
Of the sole begotten One!
Christ above in torment hangs,
She beneath beholds the pangs
Of her dying, glorious Son.
Is there one who would not weep,
'Whelmed in miseries so deep,
Christ's dear Mother to behold?
Can the human heart refrain
From partaking in her pain,
In that mother's pain untold?
Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled,
She beheld her tender Child,
All with bloody scourges rent.
For the sins of his own nation
Saw him hang in desolation
Till his spirit forth he sent.
O sweet Mother! font of love,
Touch my spirit from above,
Make my heart with yours accord.
Make me feel as your have felt;
Make my soul to glow and melt
With the love of Christ, my Lord.
Holy Mother, pierce me through,
In my heart each wound renew
Of my Savior crucified.
Let me share with you his pain,
Who for all our sins was slain,
Who for me in torments died.
Let me mingle tears with you,
Mourning him who mourned for me,
All the days that I may live.
By the cross with you to stay,
There with you to weep and pray,
Is all I ask of you to give.
Virgin of all virgins blest!
Listen to my fond request:
Let me share your grief divine.
Let me to my latest breath,
In my body bear the death
Of that dying Son of thine.
Wounded with his every wound,
Steep my soul till it has swooned
In his very Blood away.
Be to me, O Virgin, nigh,
Lest in flames I burn and die,
In his awful judgment day.
Christ, when you shall call me hence,
Be your Mother my defense,
Be your cross my victory.
While my body here decays,
May my soul your goodness praise,
Safe in heaven eternally.
Amen. Alleluia.
Troy, Michael and I pray for Hyatt, you, Sid, and Beka every morning on the way to school. St. Catherine's just opened a Perpetual Adoration chapel - perfect timing for us to lift you all up in prayer! Continue to seek solace in our beautiful faith and our beautiful eternal mother, Mary.
Love,
Brittany
Hi Troy:
There is no way for me to completely understand what it is like to be you right now. All we can do from here is to continue praying for your family and Hyatt. I think of you often during the day. May the God of peace flood your heart with His presence and surround you with His love.
Steve & Karen LaMarsh, Kennesaw, GA.
Dear Troy,
You don't know me, but your blog has made it's way to me and into my heart. You are so right that your faith in God is what carries you and will always carry you. I cannot imagine being in your shoes and having it be my husband in that hospital bed. Just imagining it brings me to tears. Please know that you have so many people out here who care about you...we are all God's children and when one suffers, we all do. God Bless you,
Molly
I just got notice of this the other day from another singer/friend from aCappology. (Long time no see Troy!) This all breaks my heart. To know she's been living so close to where I live, but not in touch and then this happens :/ I found a stack of old aCappology. In the meantime, know that my prayers and thoughts are with you, Hyatt, and your family. Please tapes and as soon as I can get a VCR back in my house, I'll find some good stuff for you from way back when get in touch so I can visit/meet up with you and Hyatt. I have no current phone number or address. I'm right around the corner so, please, get in touch so I can see how I can help support you both through this.
Joel
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