Ever have one of those moments that just seems 'perfect'? Where you just pause, breathe, and feel like life just doesn't get any better? I believe that those moments are God's gift to us - showing us what He has prepared for us in Heaven - but just a glimpse.
My last perfect moment before the awful tragedy that took place two years ago (in a couple of hours) was with Hyatt and the kids at an Applebees just off of the Prince William parkway in Manassas. We had just come from Church where they had done family portraits for the directory.... if memory serves, it was September 8th, 2008. It was pouring rain - monsoon like - 30 mph wind blowing it in sheets. Sid and I ran in with an umbrella, Hyatt grabbed Bek and tried to manage an umbrella and the infant carrier. Sid and I watched her from inside the door. Everybody got soaked - everybody was laughing.
After we got seated at the table and our meal ordered, a stillness just came over us. We just smiled at each other and were at peace for a good couple of minutes. It was one of those 'perfect moments' - soaking wet, restaurant busyness all around, hungry - none of it intruded.
During the subsequent months before she died I had several other perfect moments at her bedside.... moments where she was peaceful and relaxed and she would just sink into my arms ... where all the anguish would just let up for a few minutes... where it was just us. No alarms, no medical personnel, no outside stimulus - just peace.
The last of these moments was the day that she died. Ten or fifteen minutes before. Where, it seemed, that our souls were privy to a glimpse of heaven.
She got there first.
For the first year, I didn't get many of those moments - the adjustment, the shock, the loss, the quiet, the anguish tended to block them out I think.
Year two was different. I have those moments again. I see those glimpses in the eyes of the kids, in the stillness of the outdoors in the evening, in the presence of newfound hope. I can see again promises of the path that God has laid before me.
I am at peace.
Hug those loved ones. Tell them how much you love them. How long has it been?
Troy.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Memories
So Hyatt was always the one who remembered all the little details of our life. Who all the gifts from 5 years ago were from, how each family member was related to us, and all the rest. I never needed to. Strange though, looking through her closet, I can see her in each and every piece of clothing. I can remember how she looked in it, and something that she was doing.
That is really one of my last remaining fears, that I'm going to forget these things. Some of you who are really close to me have seen my short-term memory get shwacked over the past year by lack of sleep and the stresses of life... so that somewhat amplifies that fear.
I guess in the large sense, life is not made up of all the crystal clear memories of each instant. It is made up of the lasting impressions that we carry with us. I'd like to be able to explain to the girls exactly what their mama was like in every given circumstance - but I'm probably not going to remember - nor do I remember them all explicitly now. They just come to me as the situations evolve. I guess maybe they will come less frequently over time. That is hard.
Its been quite a while since I posted. I didn't post on the anniversary of her cardiac arrest - I didn't post on the anniversary of her death. Why? I guess I didn't have much meaningful to say. Not that any of you hang by my every word - but sometimes these anniversaries just don't trigger the emotional response in me that I'd expect....
So, what am I thankful for today? I am thankful for the person that I am because of her influence. I am thankful for when the memories hit. I am thankful for the love of my family, my extended family, and my friends. I am thankful for my girls and I am hopeful about the future.
I don't know if this is my last post here ... I guess I'll see how the spirit moves me.
Tell your spouse, family, kids, all those close to you how much they mean to you and how much you love them. Life changes every heartbeat, and you never know if you or they will be given the gift of another one.
How long has it been?
Troy.
That is really one of my last remaining fears, that I'm going to forget these things. Some of you who are really close to me have seen my short-term memory get shwacked over the past year by lack of sleep and the stresses of life... so that somewhat amplifies that fear.
I guess in the large sense, life is not made up of all the crystal clear memories of each instant. It is made up of the lasting impressions that we carry with us. I'd like to be able to explain to the girls exactly what their mama was like in every given circumstance - but I'm probably not going to remember - nor do I remember them all explicitly now. They just come to me as the situations evolve. I guess maybe they will come less frequently over time. That is hard.
Its been quite a while since I posted. I didn't post on the anniversary of her cardiac arrest - I didn't post on the anniversary of her death. Why? I guess I didn't have much meaningful to say. Not that any of you hang by my every word - but sometimes these anniversaries just don't trigger the emotional response in me that I'd expect....
So, what am I thankful for today? I am thankful for the person that I am because of her influence. I am thankful for when the memories hit. I am thankful for the love of my family, my extended family, and my friends. I am thankful for my girls and I am hopeful about the future.
I don't know if this is my last post here ... I guess I'll see how the spirit moves me.
Tell your spouse, family, kids, all those close to you how much they mean to you and how much you love them. Life changes every heartbeat, and you never know if you or they will be given the gift of another one.
How long has it been?
Troy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Cup Half Full
Hi All,
It's been a long time since I"ve posted here. I'm finding it hard to set aside the time and the emotional energy to do so. But I had a thought the other night that I wanted to share - one that is fairly transformational. I've always been a cup-half-full type of person - and I've been looking at my grief from a cup-half empty perspective. It was never that I've lost time with Hyatt - it was and has always been that I'd been given 17 great years of time with her. It, apparently, was never in God's plan to give me more than that.
So with that perspective I can see how lucky I was to have gotten those years with her... and I really was lucky... she was a real catch :)
This perspective breaks down a bit though when I think about the girls... I haven't gotten through that one yet. I suppose that will evolve as they grow.
So go hug your loved ones and tell them how lucky you are to have them in your life.
Troy.
It's been a long time since I"ve posted here. I'm finding it hard to set aside the time and the emotional energy to do so. But I had a thought the other night that I wanted to share - one that is fairly transformational. I've always been a cup-half-full type of person - and I've been looking at my grief from a cup-half empty perspective. It was never that I've lost time with Hyatt - it was and has always been that I'd been given 17 great years of time with her. It, apparently, was never in God's plan to give me more than that.
So with that perspective I can see how lucky I was to have gotten those years with her... and I really was lucky... she was a real catch :)
This perspective breaks down a bit though when I think about the girls... I haven't gotten through that one yet. I suppose that will evolve as they grow.
So go hug your loved ones and tell them how lucky you are to have them in your life.
Troy.
Monday, May 4, 2009
5 Months
Really? Has it been that long?
I've been having more 'up' days than 'down' days lately.
I took our anniversary off from work and spend some time at her grave. That was a pretty tough day. There is constantly so much that I want to share with her. So many tough challenges and good results at work, so many little things the kids do, just the smell of springtime.... I found myself describing how good naps feel on rainy days to Sid this past weekend... how mama and I used to take naps on rainy weekend days. So many things I miss...
Sid is a sweet as ever... she can do so many things by herself now... but I still get random "I love you daddy's"... that just melt my heart. I told her that her smile lights up my world ... and she gives me this sweet, bright , smile... and boy does it ever. She is almost done with her first year in pre-school. At home we are teaching her fun things like letter sounds, sounding out words, rhyming, alliteration, and addition. She is getting really good at writing "S"'s. I'm hoping that she'll sign my fathers day card all by herself this year. She's such a big girl ... and such a sweetie.
Bek is miss smiley... even at 3am. She is running and talking up a storm. If I could just get a translator so that I could understand it. She has a few words: hi, ball, puppy, Sidney, gmama ... it is so neat to hear her voice. She is working on her molars ... and she is eating a bunch of solid foods. She is pretty much all smiles - unless she is complaining about dinner and smearing food in her hair. She folds her hands for prayers before eating and she tries to say "Alleluia"...
I'd love to see Hyatt marveling at her two babies. That is probably when it hits me the most - she put so much love into Sid and Bek she'd be so proud of them...
Go kiss your kids, and tell them how special they are... go hug your lover and tell them how much they mean to you. It's been too long ...
Troy.
I've been having more 'up' days than 'down' days lately.
I took our anniversary off from work and spend some time at her grave. That was a pretty tough day. There is constantly so much that I want to share with her. So many tough challenges and good results at work, so many little things the kids do, just the smell of springtime.... I found myself describing how good naps feel on rainy days to Sid this past weekend... how mama and I used to take naps on rainy weekend days. So many things I miss...
Sid is a sweet as ever... she can do so many things by herself now... but I still get random "I love you daddy's"... that just melt my heart. I told her that her smile lights up my world ... and she gives me this sweet, bright , smile... and boy does it ever. She is almost done with her first year in pre-school. At home we are teaching her fun things like letter sounds, sounding out words, rhyming, alliteration, and addition. She is getting really good at writing "S"'s. I'm hoping that she'll sign my fathers day card all by herself this year. She's such a big girl ... and such a sweetie.
Bek is miss smiley... even at 3am. She is running and talking up a storm. If I could just get a translator so that I could understand it. She has a few words: hi, ball, puppy, Sidney, gmama ... it is so neat to hear her voice. She is working on her molars ... and she is eating a bunch of solid foods. She is pretty much all smiles - unless she is complaining about dinner and smearing food in her hair. She folds her hands for prayers before eating and she tries to say "Alleluia"...
I'd love to see Hyatt marveling at her two babies. That is probably when it hits me the most - she put so much love into Sid and Bek she'd be so proud of them...
Go kiss your kids, and tell them how special they are... go hug your lover and tell them how much they mean to you. It's been too long ...
Troy.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Three Months.
Nope - not easier.
The girls are doing great. Some of my most lonely times are watching them grow - all the things that I'd love to share with Hyatt. Sidney told me today that "when mama was alive she was your sweetheart". I told Sid that mama still is my sweetheart... and then I went off and cried.
Life is getting routine again. A routine without her. I try to look into the future and to see what it looks like... all the stuff that is involved in raising two kids - things that Hyatt was a master at - she just had this intuition and connection to her girls...
I'm still doing it one day at a time - but I've never been good at that. I/We've always had a plan - something to work toward - so the one day at a time thing is leaving a big hole too...
I have a dear friend that is going through some struggles right now. She said all that she hears is doors slamming closed on her. I feel that pain too. The loss that we feel from what we have and what we might have is a painful thing. So God planted a thought in my head right during our conversation: We always hear doors slam closed - ever hear a door swing open? That is much harder to hear.
I feel so many closed doors with now, with the loss of my best friend, my wife, and my lover. It really an unimaginably large loss for me. To say I miss her is such an understatement. I don't even know if we have a word for it ...
Go hug your lover, your kids, your family ... someday you will feel this loss too .. if you haven't already. Make sure that you tell them how much they mean to you... leave that mark on their lives.
Troy.
The girls are doing great. Some of my most lonely times are watching them grow - all the things that I'd love to share with Hyatt. Sidney told me today that "when mama was alive she was your sweetheart". I told Sid that mama still is my sweetheart... and then I went off and cried.
Life is getting routine again. A routine without her. I try to look into the future and to see what it looks like... all the stuff that is involved in raising two kids - things that Hyatt was a master at - she just had this intuition and connection to her girls...
I'm still doing it one day at a time - but I've never been good at that. I/We've always had a plan - something to work toward - so the one day at a time thing is leaving a big hole too...
I have a dear friend that is going through some struggles right now. She said all that she hears is doors slamming closed on her. I feel that pain too. The loss that we feel from what we have and what we might have is a painful thing. So God planted a thought in my head right during our conversation: We always hear doors slam closed - ever hear a door swing open? That is much harder to hear.
I feel so many closed doors with now, with the loss of my best friend, my wife, and my lover. It really an unimaginably large loss for me. To say I miss her is such an understatement. I don't even know if we have a word for it ...
Go hug your lover, your kids, your family ... someday you will feel this loss too .. if you haven't already. Make sure that you tell them how much they mean to you... leave that mark on their lives.
Troy.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Two Months
The way that we mark time and experience time is pretty strange. It's been two months since Hyatt died. It seems so short - and yet, like an eternity.
Things aren't getting easier. The numbness is wearing off and I feel things so much more sharply now. I just have to shut it out most of the time, but I do try to let it out once a day... usually by looking at some pictures of happy times or by trying to remember some fleeting detail.
Sid and Bek are doing great - I am very thankful for that - and I'm very thankful for all the support that my parents have provided by helping me with them.
It is still so unreal.
It is really hard to talk to people about how things are going - I do appreciate all the times that folks have left voicemail and email for me - I'm just not in a state to do a lot of talking.
Yesterday, I came across a card that someone sent with these words from St. Augustine on it ... read this and then go kiss your family ...
Troy.
Things aren't getting easier. The numbness is wearing off and I feel things so much more sharply now. I just have to shut it out most of the time, but I do try to let it out once a day... usually by looking at some pictures of happy times or by trying to remember some fleeting detail.
Sid and Bek are doing great - I am very thankful for that - and I'm very thankful for all the support that my parents have provided by helping me with them.
It is still so unreal.
It is really hard to talk to people about how things are going - I do appreciate all the times that folks have left voicemail and email for me - I'm just not in a state to do a lot of talking.
Yesterday, I came across a card that someone sent with these words from St. Augustine on it ... read this and then go kiss your family ...
Troy.
IF YOU LOVE ME, DO NOT WEEP. IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE GIFT OF GOD AND WHAT HEAVEN IS! IF ONLY YOU COULD HEAR THE ANGEL'S SONG FROM WHERE YOU ARE, AND SEE ME AMONG THEM! IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE BEFORE YOUR EYES THE ETERNAL FIELDS WITH THEIR HORIZONS, AND THE NEW PATHS IN WHICH I WALK! IF ONLY YOU COULD COMTEMPLATE FOR ONE MOMENT THE BEAUTY THAT I SEE,
BEAUTY BEFORE WHICH ALL OTHERS FALL AND FADE!
WHY DO YOU WHO SAW ME AND LOVED ME IN THE LAND OF SHADOWS, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WILL NOT SEE ME AND LOVE ME AGAIN IN THE LAND OF UNCHANGING REALITIES?
BELIEVE ME WHEN DEATH BREAKS YOUR CHAINS AS IT HAS BROKEN MINE, WHEN, ON THAT DAY, CHOSEN BY GOD, YOUR SOUL REACHES HEAVEN WHERE I HAVE PROCEEDED YOU, THEN YOU WILL SEE HIM WHO LOVED AND STILL LOVES YOU. YOU WILL FIND HIS HEART THE SAME, HIS TENDERNESS EVEN PURER THAN BEFORE.
GOD FORBID THAT ENTERING A HAPPIER LIFE, I SHOULD BECOME LESS LOVING, UNFAITHFUL TO THE MEMORIES AND REAL JOYS OF MY OTHER LIFE. YOU WILL SEE ME AGAIN TRANSFIGURED IN ESCTASY AND HAPPINESS, NO LONGER WAITING FOR DEATH, BUT EVER HAND IN HAND WITH YOU, WALKING IN THE NEW PATHS OF LIGHT AND LIFE, MY THIRST TO THE FULLEST AT THE FEET OF GOD FROM A FOUNTAIN OF WHICH ONE NEVER TIRES, AND WHICH YOU WILL COME TO SHAPE WITH ME.
WIPE AWAY THE TEARS, AND IF YOU LOVE ME TRULY, WEEP NO MORE.
Friday, January 9, 2009
I miss her.
About 4 years ago, Hyatt went to Colorado for 3 months for a job rotation. I missed her constantly, but I knew she would come home to me soon... and I went to visit her. That is what it feels like now - like she is going to come home soon. Like she isn't really gone, just away on a trip. And then it hits....
This week was my first full week back to work full time. I'm exhausted. I haven't been able to really cry this week other than when I went to her grave - except for today. I miss interacting with her and holding her....
It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks. During the week of Christmas there were days where I couldn't look at the girls without crying. New years eve was harder than I thought it would be. I'm just going from hour to hour and day to day right now - part of me wants the hurt to stop - part of me wants it to never stop. I don't want to forget - I don't want to stop missing her. This is such a weird place to be...
Troy.
This week was my first full week back to work full time. I'm exhausted. I haven't been able to really cry this week other than when I went to her grave - except for today. I miss interacting with her and holding her....
It's been a pretty rough couple of weeks. During the week of Christmas there were days where I couldn't look at the girls without crying. New years eve was harder than I thought it would be. I'm just going from hour to hour and day to day right now - part of me wants the hurt to stop - part of me wants it to never stop. I don't want to forget - I don't want to stop missing her. This is such a weird place to be...
Troy.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Faith and Loss
I struggle with not being able to have told her I loved her - with the thoughts that she was frustrated with me when she had her cardiac arrest - what if her last thoughts were frustration with me? What if she woke up enough to realize that she needed help, but I wasn't there ...
It occurred to me this morning that part of believing in the Resurrection is the understanding that Hyatt, while not present physically, is still present spiritually. If that is the case, then she has heard and felt my love for her and she understands it all.
But there is the rub, I'm having a hard time trusting that she can feel it.... so I think part of the difficulty here is that I am having a bit of a crisis of faith. I know I need to believe, but sometimes I just can't see it or feel it.... and that scares me.
So please say a quick prayer for me... and for the girls...
Troy.
It occurred to me this morning that part of believing in the Resurrection is the understanding that Hyatt, while not present physically, is still present spiritually. If that is the case, then she has heard and felt my love for her and she understands it all.
But there is the rub, I'm having a hard time trusting that she can feel it.... so I think part of the difficulty here is that I am having a bit of a crisis of faith. I know I need to believe, but sometimes I just can't see it or feel it.... and that scares me.
So please say a quick prayer for me... and for the girls...
Troy.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Still here...
I'm still here. These past few days have been very tough. Today, I couldn't spend any appreciable time with the kids without crying. I just want to lock myself in my room. It's just all so surreal... I just can't get my head around the fact that she is gone. I still see her walking in to my office to chat or smiling as we play with the kids. I wasn't ready for this ... for how hard it is... I thought that I'd been through it already while she was in Hospice ... I was wrong.
Go kiss those kids and your honey ... how long has it been?
Troy.
Go kiss those kids and your honey ... how long has it been?
Troy.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Funeral Arrangements and Logistics
We will be posting information about the funeral, hotels, and other logistically helpful information in the coming days. To keep all of this information in a handy place, we have created a list of links on the right hand side of this page called Funeral Arrangements. Please feel to contact Allen (allenmurray (at) mac (dot) com) if you still have any questions.
Thank you for the overwhelming amount of Prayers, Love, and Support,
Allen
Thank you for the overwhelming amount of Prayers, Love, and Support,
Allen
Memory Cards
We have had many thoughtful suggestions and offers of assistance to create a way to collect and pass on joyful memories, funny stories, and thoughts about Hyatt to her daughters and family.
The Bristow Moms and Kids Club, assisted by the MOMS Club of Gainesville, will provide preaddressed note cards at the wake and funeral for people to take with them and return by mail, after writing the memory they wish to share. The cards will be collected, organized, and later presented to the family.
If you are unable to attend either the wake or funeral, or are unable to obtain one of the preaddressed cards, you may send in your own note card to the address provided at the end of this entry. We ask that you send this particular correspondence to the P.O. Box, rather than the personal home address. If you wish to forgo the mail system all together, you may add a comment in the “Hyatt Stories” section of this blog, which will be printed and later added to the collection.
Here is the address for the Memory Cards:
Bristow Moms and Kids
12841
***Please do not include any person’s name or “Care Of” in the address or the letter will not be delivered. You can write “Memory Card” on the back of the envelope to facilitate sorting the mail once collected from the P.O. Box.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for contributing to a collection of memories to pass on to Hyatt’s most precious girls.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
In lieu of Flowers....
Folks,
In lieu of flowers please make a donation, in Hyatt's honor, to either of the following organizations:
Prince William Conservation Alliance
PO Box 6351, Woodbridge, VA 22195
This is an organization that Hyatt did volunteer work with and they are working hard to conserve watershed and natural spaces around Prince William County - where we live. It is a cause that Hyatt cares passionately about. You can learn more at:
http://www.pwconserve.org/who/index.html
Troy.
In lieu of flowers please make a donation, in Hyatt's honor, to either of the following organizations:
Prince William Conservation Alliance
PO Box 6351, Woodbridge, VA 22195
This is an organization that Hyatt did volunteer work with and they are working hard to conserve watershed and natural spaces around Prince William County - where we live. It is a cause that Hyatt cares passionately about. You can learn more at:
http://www.pwconserve.org/who/index.html
Capital Hospice
Attn: Development Office
6565 Arlington Blvd, Suite 500
Falls Church, VA 22042
This is the organization that has the inpatient facility where Hyatt spent the last month of her life. They are a great organization that is dedicated to easing pain and helping patients and loved ones cope with terminal illness - in their facility and throughout the community. You can learn more at:
http://www.capitalhospice.org/about/hospice/mission.asp
Troy.
Funeral Summary
Please join us in celebrating Hyatt's life starting on Thursday December 11th from 6-8pm for her wake. This will take place at Fairfax Memorial Funeral Home (9902 Braddock Rd, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday December 12th at 11am we will celebrate a Mass of Christian Burial at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, VA (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday Following the Mass, we will have a grave-side service at St. Mary of Sorrows Historic Church Cemetery (Fairfax Station Road & Route 123, Fairfax Station, VA 22039). Please carpool to this service, there is limited parking.
Following the grave-side service, we will return to the main church (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032) for a reception.
View Larger Map
On Friday December 12th at 11am we will celebrate a Mass of Christian Burial at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, VA (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday Following the Mass, we will have a grave-side service at St. Mary of Sorrows Historic Church Cemetery (Fairfax Station Road & Route 123, Fairfax Station, VA 22039). Please carpool to this service, there is limited parking.
Following the grave-side service, we will return to the main church (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032) for a reception.
View Larger Map
Hotel Accomodations
There are many nice hotels in close proximity to the Churches and Funeral Home. A list of these choices with contact information is attached below. A block of rooms will be reserved at the Hampton Inn - Fairfax City for Thursday and Friday night. Please reference the funeral for Mary Hyatt Ford Nolan.
Hampton Inn - Fairfax City
10860 Fairfax Boulevard
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-385-2600
703-385-2742 (fax)
Hotel Website
The following are other hotels (not listed in any particular order) in the same general area:
Comfort Inn - University Center
11180 Fairfax Blvd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-591-5900
703-591-3507 (fax)
Hotel Website
Candlewood Suites
11400 Random Hills Rd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-359-4490
703-359-4492 (fax)
Hotel Website
Best Western - Fairfax
3535 Chain Bridge Rd
Fairfax City, VA 22030-2703
703-591-5500
703-591-7483 (fax)
Hotel Website
Holiday Inn Express - Fairfax
10327 Fairfax Blvd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-359-2888
703-385-9186 (fax)
Hotel Website
Fairfax Marriott - Fair Oaks
1787 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway
Fairfax, VA 22033
703-352-2525
703-667-2112 (fax)
Hotel Website
Hilton Garden Inn - Fairfax
3950 Fair Ridge Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
703-385-7774
703-359-2932 (fax)
Hotel Website
Courtyard Marriott - Fairfax Fair Oaks
11220 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway (Rte. 50)
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-273-6161
703-273-3505 (fax)
Hotel Website
This is not an exhaustive list of hotels in the area, but does represent comfortable and reasonably priced choices which are close to the areas of interest. Please let me know if you have any trouble finding what you are looking for.
Thanks,
Allen
Hampton Inn - Fairfax City
10860 Fairfax Boulevard
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-385-2600
703-385-2742 (fax)
Hotel Website
The following are other hotels (not listed in any particular order) in the same general area:
Comfort Inn - University Center
11180 Fairfax Blvd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-591-5900
703-591-3507 (fax)
Hotel Website
Candlewood Suites
11400 Random Hills Rd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-359-4490
703-359-4492 (fax)
Hotel Website
Best Western - Fairfax
3535 Chain Bridge Rd
Fairfax City, VA 22030-2703
703-591-5500
703-591-7483 (fax)
Hotel Website
Holiday Inn Express - Fairfax
10327 Fairfax Blvd
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-359-2888
703-385-9186 (fax)
Hotel Website
Fairfax Marriott - Fair Oaks
1787 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway
Fairfax, VA 22033
703-352-2525
703-667-2112 (fax)
Hotel Website
Hilton Garden Inn - Fairfax
3950 Fair Ridge Drive
Fairfax, VA 22033
703-385-7774
703-359-2932 (fax)
Hotel Website
Courtyard Marriott - Fairfax Fair Oaks
11220 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway (Rte. 50)
Fairfax, VA 22030
703-273-6161
703-273-3505 (fax)
Hotel Website
This is not an exhaustive list of hotels in the area, but does represent comfortable and reasonably priced choices which are close to the areas of interest. Please let me know if you have any trouble finding what you are looking for.
Thanks,
Allen
Friday, December 5, 2008
She's at Peace
Hi All,
I was with Hyatt all day on Thursday and held her for most of the day. She passed around 4:50pm. I spent most of the day telling her how everything here will be OK and how her Heavenly Father was waiting for her. I told her over and over how much I love her, how much her kids love her, and how much her family and friends love her. I asked her to pray for us when she gets to Heaven - that we will all constantly need her help.
I promised to make her love and life known to Sid and Bek as they grow up - and to reflect her love towards them in everything that I do.
Hyatt, I love you. I miss you. I'm so sorry.
She is in a better place now. She is at peace. I rejoice in knowing that she is with God, in his presence, and experiencing the Joy that she worked her whole life to achieve. But I am tragically heart broken that our time together was so short. I miss her.
=====================
Please join us in celebrating Hyatt's life starting on Thursday December 11th from 6-8pm for her wake. This will take place at Fairfax Memorial Funeral Home (9902 Braddock Rd, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday December 12th at 11am we will celebrate a Mass of Christian Burial at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, VA (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday Following the Mass, we will have a grave-side service at St. Mary of of Sorrows Historic Church Cemetery (Fairfax Station Road & Route 123, Fairfax Station, VA 22039). Please carpool to this service, there is limited parking.
Following the grave-side service, we will return to the main church (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032) for a reception.
In lieu of flowers I will be making other arrangements - please stay tuned - I'll announce that here. It will be something that Hyatt would be proud to support.
Please go kiss your spouse and kids - call your parents and siblings and tell them how much you love them. (How long has it been?)
Troy.
I was with Hyatt all day on Thursday and held her for most of the day. She passed around 4:50pm. I spent most of the day telling her how everything here will be OK and how her Heavenly Father was waiting for her. I told her over and over how much I love her, how much her kids love her, and how much her family and friends love her. I asked her to pray for us when she gets to Heaven - that we will all constantly need her help.
I promised to make her love and life known to Sid and Bek as they grow up - and to reflect her love towards them in everything that I do.
Hyatt, I love you. I miss you. I'm so sorry.
She is in a better place now. She is at peace. I rejoice in knowing that she is with God, in his presence, and experiencing the Joy that she worked her whole life to achieve. But I am tragically heart broken that our time together was so short. I miss her.
=====================
Please join us in celebrating Hyatt's life starting on Thursday December 11th from 6-8pm for her wake. This will take place at Fairfax Memorial Funeral Home (9902 Braddock Rd, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday December 12th at 11am we will celebrate a Mass of Christian Burial at St. Mary of Sorrows Church in Fairfax, VA (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032).
On Friday Following the Mass, we will have a grave-side service at St. Mary of of Sorrows Historic Church Cemetery (Fairfax Station Road & Route 123, Fairfax Station, VA 22039). Please carpool to this service, there is limited parking.
Following the grave-side service, we will return to the main church (5222 Sideburn Road, Fairfax, VA 22032) for a reception.
In lieu of flowers I will be making other arrangements - please stay tuned - I'll announce that here. It will be something that Hyatt would be proud to support.
Please go kiss your spouse and kids - call your parents and siblings and tell them how much you love them. (How long has it been?)
Troy.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
She's Gone
Our dear Friend, Daughter, Mother, Wife, passed away this evening. She died peacefully in Troy's arms and in the presence of her Mom and Dad. It has been a trying week for the family and friends who have stayed with Hyatt 24X7 since Monday.
We've been dreading this day for the last month. Hyatt will be missed terribly by many, but also celebrated as an amazing person.
Details about her funeral will be posted as soon as they become available.
Thank you all for your prayers,
Allen
We've been dreading this day for the last month. Hyatt will be missed terribly by many, but also celebrated as an amazing person.
Details about her funeral will be posted as soon as they become available.
Thank you all for your prayers,
Allen
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Decline....
Hyatt's condition is taking a turn for the worse.
Deep down, I knew this day would come. Despite all the hope and prayers.
I'm doing OK - my grief is still greatest for Hyatt, Sid, and Bek. I know that Hyatt's journey on earth is nearing it's end - that she is going home to her heavenly father - which is what she sought in her every action. Still, I will miss her terribly and I will miss her physical presence in the lives of our kids and in my life.
It has really been a strange few months. Everything about this has been surreal. What 35 year old just collapses like this? This is something that you read about in papers ... a rare, tragic occurrence that we just read about - strangers that we feel bad for - that we can thank God that it doesn't happen to us. It is really unfathomable. Such a vibrant, loving, caring person ... just gone in a snap.
Life is really precious - every moment of every day. Every breath, every thought, every word, every smile, every expression of tenderness - these are the opportunities that God gives us to reflect His love to those around us, to those whom we love.
So, over these past few months I've shared a lot of the things I've come to learn about myself and about how God works in my life, how He works in Hyatt's life, how he works in the lives of my two girls. My prayer is that you get to live the realizations while your loved ones still present to you. I'll get the opportunity to do this with Sid and Bek and with all the others that I come in contact with - but not with my true love.
I know that she saw these things in me - but I'd still like to have shown them to her more and more actively. Deep down in all of us God plants a seed - we know what is right and wrong, we know how we should act towards others, we know that kindness, tenderness, and compassion are the keys to loving those that God brings into our lives. Did I always act that way? No. Would I like a second chance at it? Terribly. I won't get that with Hyatt. The times I failed her I can't change... I can't make them better ... I can't show her a real and sustained conversion.
Please don't get caught in the trap that bites a lot of people in our society - the "what about me" perspective of marriage - it sneaks it's way into a lot of good marriages. It is in giving our whole selves selflessly, everytime, in this special relationship that we find the real purpose of Marriage - to bring each other selflessly closer to God. Hyatt did this for me time and time again. I am blessed to have had her influence in my life.
God gave me 17 years of love from this beautiful woman. That is a gift that I have been continually thanking him for throuought this crisis... why didn't I see it as clearly before this happened? That Hyatt was God's gift to me ... and that I needed to acknoledge that in every moment that I had with her...
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being consumed with regret - but I do have many of them.
Go kiss those kids and your lover ... how long has it been?
Troy.
Deep down, I knew this day would come. Despite all the hope and prayers.
I'm doing OK - my grief is still greatest for Hyatt, Sid, and Bek. I know that Hyatt's journey on earth is nearing it's end - that she is going home to her heavenly father - which is what she sought in her every action. Still, I will miss her terribly and I will miss her physical presence in the lives of our kids and in my life.
It has really been a strange few months. Everything about this has been surreal. What 35 year old just collapses like this? This is something that you read about in papers ... a rare, tragic occurrence that we just read about - strangers that we feel bad for - that we can thank God that it doesn't happen to us. It is really unfathomable. Such a vibrant, loving, caring person ... just gone in a snap.
Life is really precious - every moment of every day. Every breath, every thought, every word, every smile, every expression of tenderness - these are the opportunities that God gives us to reflect His love to those around us, to those whom we love.
So, over these past few months I've shared a lot of the things I've come to learn about myself and about how God works in my life, how He works in Hyatt's life, how he works in the lives of my two girls. My prayer is that you get to live the realizations while your loved ones still present to you. I'll get the opportunity to do this with Sid and Bek and with all the others that I come in contact with - but not with my true love.
I know that she saw these things in me - but I'd still like to have shown them to her more and more actively. Deep down in all of us God plants a seed - we know what is right and wrong, we know how we should act towards others, we know that kindness, tenderness, and compassion are the keys to loving those that God brings into our lives. Did I always act that way? No. Would I like a second chance at it? Terribly. I won't get that with Hyatt. The times I failed her I can't change... I can't make them better ... I can't show her a real and sustained conversion.
Please don't get caught in the trap that bites a lot of people in our society - the "what about me" perspective of marriage - it sneaks it's way into a lot of good marriages. It is in giving our whole selves selflessly, everytime, in this special relationship that we find the real purpose of Marriage - to bring each other selflessly closer to God. Hyatt did this for me time and time again. I am blessed to have had her influence in my life.
God gave me 17 years of love from this beautiful woman. That is a gift that I have been continually thanking him for throuought this crisis... why didn't I see it as clearly before this happened? That Hyatt was God's gift to me ... and that I needed to acknoledge that in every moment that I had with her...
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being consumed with regret - but I do have many of them.
Go kiss those kids and your lover ... how long has it been?
Troy.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
What do I have to be thankful for?
Quite simply a whole lot. I am thankful for the love and support of my Family, for the love and support of my friends, for the love and support of all the friends that I didn't know I had, and for the love and support of all those whom I haven't yet met who are praying for Hyatt, me, and the kids.
I went and spent an hour or so with Hyatt tonight and told her all the things I was thankful for: I am thankful that God brought her into my life, I am thankful for 17 years of knowing her - her smile and laughter - her grace and peace. I am thankful for who I am now because she is in my life. I am thankful for the two wonderful children that we have brought into this world together. I am thankful for all the beautiful things that she made me aware of over the years - for her ability to see into and connect with others - for her kindness, constancy, and forgiveness... I am thankful for learning with her help what true love really is.
I hope and pray that each of you has had a wonderful Thanksgiving - and that you can really see God's presence in your family.
Troy.
A footnote:
A woman at church this morning said a special prayer for her daughter - she is going through some very tough and dangerous things. I don't know your name, but I am praying that your daughter see how much that you love her and how much God loves her - and I am praying for her safety, for you, and your family.
Footnote #2: (lest we forget in the busy season) How long has it been since you kissed your spouse? your kids?
I went and spent an hour or so with Hyatt tonight and told her all the things I was thankful for: I am thankful that God brought her into my life, I am thankful for 17 years of knowing her - her smile and laughter - her grace and peace. I am thankful for who I am now because she is in my life. I am thankful for the two wonderful children that we have brought into this world together. I am thankful for all the beautiful things that she made me aware of over the years - for her ability to see into and connect with others - for her kindness, constancy, and forgiveness... I am thankful for learning with her help what true love really is.
I hope and pray that each of you has had a wonderful Thanksgiving - and that you can really see God's presence in your family.
Troy.
A footnote:
A woman at church this morning said a special prayer for her daughter - she is going through some very tough and dangerous things. I don't know your name, but I am praying that your daughter see how much that you love her and how much God loves her - and I am praying for her safety, for you, and your family.
Footnote #2: (lest we forget in the busy season) How long has it been since you kissed your spouse? your kids?
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