Ever have one of those moments that just seems 'perfect'? Where you just pause, breathe, and feel like life just doesn't get any better? I believe that those moments are God's gift to us - showing us what He has prepared for us in Heaven - but just a glimpse.
My last perfect moment before the awful tragedy that took place two years ago (in a couple of hours) was with Hyatt and the kids at an Applebees just off of the Prince William parkway in Manassas. We had just come from Church where they had done family portraits for the directory.... if memory serves, it was September 8th, 2008. It was pouring rain - monsoon like - 30 mph wind blowing it in sheets. Sid and I ran in with an umbrella, Hyatt grabbed Bek and tried to manage an umbrella and the infant carrier. Sid and I watched her from inside the door. Everybody got soaked - everybody was laughing.
After we got seated at the table and our meal ordered, a stillness just came over us. We just smiled at each other and were at peace for a good couple of minutes. It was one of those 'perfect moments' - soaking wet, restaurant busyness all around, hungry - none of it intruded.
During the subsequent months before she died I had several other perfect moments at her bedside.... moments where she was peaceful and relaxed and she would just sink into my arms ... where all the anguish would just let up for a few minutes... where it was just us. No alarms, no medical personnel, no outside stimulus - just peace.
The last of these moments was the day that she died. Ten or fifteen minutes before. Where, it seemed, that our souls were privy to a glimpse of heaven.
She got there first.
For the first year, I didn't get many of those moments - the adjustment, the shock, the loss, the quiet, the anguish tended to block them out I think.
Year two was different. I have those moments again. I see those glimpses in the eyes of the kids, in the stillness of the outdoors in the evening, in the presence of newfound hope. I can see again promises of the path that God has laid before me.
I am at peace.
Hug those loved ones. Tell them how much you love them. How long has it been?
Troy.
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14 comments:
Troy,
Amen.
You have a way of touching others with your words and actions. I will pray that you continue at peace on your path in life.
May God bless you and your beautiful girls. We miss you and remember your family in our prayers.
Love,Kent,Janet and Avery
As I have reflected on my time with Hyatt, I remember the quiet moments when I held her hand and soothed her forehead those last few months in the hospital and Hospice. When I got beyond the nightmare of the circumstances, I knew it was a spiritual time with Hyatt.
I still remember her sitting at the dinner table rubbing her belly gently when she was pregnant with both girls. It took me back to my days when I was pregnant with my children and I would do the same thing. It is hard to describe the feeling of trying to connect with your child from the moment you felt the first flutter...always praying for God's protection and thanking him for this gift of new life.... that too was a spiritul time.
Troy,
It seems that the simple pleasures in life are making you smile again. May god continue to bless you and the girls and you continue to find peace and happiness.
Tracy
Troy,
You have no idea how much your comments have touched me, and others.. I am glad that you are somewhat at peace, and continue with those moments with the girls. I know Hyatt looks down from heaven, with pride and love with the job you are doing with them. Just know that those of us who have never met you , have taken what you have said, and hugged our loved ones a little tighter every single day. Keeping you and your family in my prayers
Hi Troy,
So very glad to hear from you! We check often, think of you and the girls and your folks more often. Grateful not only for your renewed ability to taste and sense those perfect moments, those touches of the peace of God, but that you are also "making peace" within. May the Breath of God permeate your life anew. Bob and Pat Geipel
Troy, Your writing is profound and beautiful!!!! Thanks for the reminder to capture those moments and see them for what they are. I will continue to pray for you and the girls as you continue to live and walk in the hope that you have been given. You are loved, GarvyS
You don't know me (my sisters went to high school with Hyatt), but I always check to see if you've updated and how life is going. I admire how you're handling this journey and agree that God is so good! --Debbie White Wilkins
Such wonderful words. God bless you and your family.
It was so nice seeing an update from you and to see how the time has been slowly healing...we think of your family often and pray for you and your beautiful girls, who I am sure make you smile every day..You continue to inspire us, thank you for sharing your story
May God continue to bless you
Carol and family from Haymarket
Troy,
Even though we've never met I have continued to check your blog regularly hoping for an update on you and the girls (I know your cousin here in Georgia). Just as my heart ached for you when Hyatt fell ill and went home to Heaven, it rejoices with you now as you are finding healing and hope in the future. God is good all the time.
Harriett
Its wonderful to hear you and your daughters are finding peace. They say with God's help, all things are possible. At the time you don't see how you'll get through it but, miraculously, you do. We are very glad you are smiling again.
The Schumachers
Hi Troy,
Just letting you know we are thinking and praying for you this Christmas. Hope you and your girls and your family have a blessed Christmas.
Bob and Pat Geipel
Troy-
Having just joined your experiance of two years ago with the death of my wife this past week, I begin the same journey you have walked with my five boys. I do appreciate their age range 8-21 which gives them fond memories of their mom but the journey will be difficult none the less. Having been just introduced to your blog, I am taken by your latest posting and will take the time to back peddle back to 2008. I am confident your experiance will be useful to our family as we try and come to grips with God's will.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Bart
Troy,
I still think about and pray for you and the girls. Hope you are doing well and thriving with hope for the future. GarvyS
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