Hyatt's condition is taking a turn for the worse.
Deep down, I knew this day would come. Despite all the hope and prayers.
I'm doing OK - my grief is still greatest for Hyatt, Sid, and Bek. I know that Hyatt's journey on earth is nearing it's end - that she is going home to her heavenly father - which is what she sought in her every action. Still, I will miss her terribly and I will miss her physical presence in the lives of our kids and in my life.
It has really been a strange few months. Everything about this has been surreal. What 35 year old just collapses like this? This is something that you read about in papers ... a rare, tragic occurrence that we just read about - strangers that we feel bad for - that we can thank God that it doesn't happen to us. It is really unfathomable. Such a vibrant, loving, caring person ... just gone in a snap.
Life is really precious - every moment of every day. Every breath, every thought, every word, every smile, every expression of tenderness - these are the opportunities that God gives us to reflect His love to those around us, to those whom we love.
So, over these past few months I've shared a lot of the things I've come to learn about myself and about how God works in my life, how He works in Hyatt's life, how he works in the lives of my two girls. My prayer is that you get to live the realizations while your loved ones still present to you. I'll get the opportunity to do this with Sid and Bek and with all the others that I come in contact with - but not with my true love.
I know that she saw these things in me - but I'd still like to have shown them to her more and more actively. Deep down in all of us God plants a seed - we know what is right and wrong, we know how we should act towards others, we know that kindness, tenderness, and compassion are the keys to loving those that God brings into our lives. Did I always act that way? No. Would I like a second chance at it? Terribly. I won't get that with Hyatt. The times I failed her I can't change... I can't make them better ... I can't show her a real and sustained conversion.
Please don't get caught in the trap that bites a lot of people in our society - the "what about me" perspective of marriage - it sneaks it's way into a lot of good marriages. It is in giving our whole selves selflessly, everytime, in this special relationship that we find the real purpose of Marriage - to bring each other selflessly closer to God. Hyatt did this for me time and time again. I am blessed to have had her influence in my life.
God gave me 17 years of love from this beautiful woman. That is a gift that I have been continually thanking him for throuought this crisis... why didn't I see it as clearly before this happened? That Hyatt was God's gift to me ... and that I needed to acknoledge that in every moment that I had with her...
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being consumed with regret - but I do have many of them.
Go kiss those kids and your lover ... how long has it been?
Troy.
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33 comments:
Dear Troy,
My prayers are with you, Hyatt and your entire family.
Thank you for sharing this update as well as your feelings about the importance of actively loving your loved ones. Please know that you are making a difference in the lives of others. I have found great solace from your writing as I am recovering from a similar situation. You have reminded me to focus on what I have and to appreciate every moment of every day and to make sure that my loved ones ALWAYS know how valued and loved they are.
Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless.
Troy,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I dreaded the day I would open this blog and read this type of update. As far as regrets...don't get hung up on them. Nobody is perfect. But, what you have given us is the chance to see the big picture, and truly appreciate the people in our lives. Thank you for that gift.
Thank you for continuing to inspire and better marriages even in the midst of your grief. I live each day differently because of you.
Dear Troy, Thank you for your continued updates. We pray for you, Hyatt and your daughters a lot...just like so many others. Your comments continually strike a chord with me, as with so many. God is a good God, a loving God. Each of us has circumstances in our lives that we probably will not totally understand until we are with Jesus. Please continue to spread the good news about Jesus Christ...those of us with visable disabilities or raw pain that goes to the quick have a very special platform....people want to know how we can put one foot in front of the other each day...it is only through the knowledge that we have heaven to look forward to, that this life is fleeting, and that Jesus Christ already paid the debt for our sins!
We will continue to pray.
Dear Troy,
I am a friend of a friend who has followed your blog each day since Hyatt's collapse. Know that our love and prayers are with you and your children each day. Know that our love and prayers are with Hyatt each day. Thank you for the gift you have given us in the midst of your pain. Life is precious. Hyatt has given us a new day. May God's deep peace surround you as Hyatt journeys into the next room of God's great home. She knows how much you love her. She knows. May God grant you strength for each day.
Troy,
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this moment, as they have been for the past few months. As one of the other post said this morning, I was dreading the day I opened the blog and read this type of update. We were all hoping for a miracle, but it seems that God has other plans.
You have been an inspiration to me in the way you and Hyatt cared for people, your family and for your love and trust in God.
God Bless you, Hyatt, the girls and the rest of your family. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
Tracy
Troy and family -
You are always in my thoughts and I still pray for His will to be done however He sees fit. I'm sorry to read that Hyatt is declining. You are so strong - keep the faith, I love reading your updates and thoughts, I hope it helps you to share with us too.
God Bless,
Andrea
Zionsville, IN
Dear Troy,
I am praying and tears are streaming down as I grieve for you during this time of great loss of what you and many of us hoped and prayed for. I am SO,SO SORRY!!!!!! You are loved and prayed for by SO many people but I know it doesn't take the pain away. I'm thanking God that He has been,is now and will be with you in the coming days and He can comfort like no other. Hyatt and the girls are blessed to have you. Sending love and hugs, GarvyS
I take comfort knowing that Hyatt will be at peace, but death and dieing are never about the individual, it is about those left behind. That is where the sorrow is. I believe that Hyatt fulfilled her duties here. She leaves two beautiful little girls behind to live. I know that you, Troy, will be okay because your Faith is so strong. It is a blessing and a curse that your girls will probably not remember much if any of this. They will know Hyatt through you and through so many others who will never let them forget. May she just go Home in peace. You are not the only fortunate one in this marriage, she is a very lucky lady herself to have shared a life with such a wonderful mad. And like another comment above, I live each day a little differently because of the two of you..........May God wrap his arms around your family and hold you tight.....
Samantha
Troy,
I am continuing to pray for Hyatt, you, and your little girls. Thank you for keeping us all updated on Hyatt's condition. I hope you know how much your blogs inspire others to be better people and to have a strong relationship with God. Your strength shines in each blog and transcends to those who read them.
I can't imagine what you are going through but just know that you are making a difference in many lives by sharing this. It has opened my eyes to how much I take for granted. We all need to take your advice and kiss our loved ones daily and appreciate life more. For now, I will keep praying for lovely Hyatt and your family. Stay strong and keep trusting in the Lord. God bless you Troy!
I got this blog through a friend of Hyatt's and I have been reading your updates often. My heart breaks for what your family is going through. I pray for God's protection and healing for you and the girls. You are a wonderful husband. I sit and read the entries and it reminds me that I need to love on my husband daily, hourly whatever. It is so easy to extend grace to my kids but often my husband takes the brunt of my emotions. Thank you for reminding me that spouses are important and one day I may have to face life without him. I cry everytime I read your entries. No that your story will/has changed lives. Thank you for being willing to share what God is doing in your life both the good and the bad. Blessings upon you especially during the holidays!
Troy,
I couldn't express anything better than the other entries have... you truly are making a difference in the lives of others by sharing your journey. I am thankful you you are being so transparent and open to the way God is working in your life through this situation. As you go through this next stage, I pray that you will feel Christ's presence with you every step of the way and with every tear drop that falls. He is crying with you but is also there to be your Rock and Comforter. I pray you will experience His presence in even deeper ways through the coming weeks. Please tell your mom I am here if she needs me for ANYTHING.
Kim Nussbaum
I'm praying for you and your family. It's hard to say goodbye, even when you're prepared. God bless.
Barb
Dear Troy -
I'm one of those that have never met you or your family but check your blog regularly and have been praying for you, Hyatt, and the rest of your family. My heart dropped when I saw the title of this post. Like everyone else, I had hoped that one day I would open this blog and you would have posted that Hyatt was awake, but feared this outcome. However, that does not seem to be God's will. I know it is so very hard to let go and this is not what anyone had wanted, but Hyatt will be in a better place, and better able to watch over you & the girls - because obviously she's going to be a great angel for God! Please do not beat yourself up over any missteps in your relationship. I don't know you or Hyatt, but from what I've read of her, I'm willing to bet that she would not want you to have regrets, and only has the most positive memories of you. My prayers will continue to be with you and your family as God's will is done. As many others have mentioned, the testament of your love for God and your family is incredible, and you've changed more than a couple of lives in more ways than you'll over know. It's my wish that if this is Hyatt's time, that she goes to God peacefully and without further pain. God Bless.
Troy,
I, too, am a friend of a friend that has followed your blog from the beginning from Fredericskburg, VA. I am so sorry for everything that you and your family are facing. Your blog has inspired and encouraged me. I have been fortunate to get to know Hyatt through the blogs, stories, and pictures - what a truly a remarkable woman. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you and your family.
Troy, Sid, Bek and family,
You have been and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I regularly check the blog in hopes that all of our prayers have been answered for Hyatt and your family! If Hyatt continues her journey onto God, find peace that you know she is eternally at peace and will forever be with you, Sid & Bek as your guardian angel above.
God Bless you!
Dear Troy,
We are praying for Hyatt, you, and your beautiful daughters. May Hyatt find peace and may your grief be a little less remembering how wonderful she is -- every time you look at your daughters. Geoff & Victoria Pierce
I am thinking and praying for you and your dear family... may you be surrounded by God's love, strength and peace during this difficult time. God bless- Ashli George
Troy,
I am so sorry about Hyatt's declining condition and will pray that she is greeted in Heaven by the most unbelievable peace, love, and joy.
Your reflections upon marriage truly hit home. We will all lose our spouses someday, and your reflections throughout your "long goodbye" with Hyatt remind us to purposely design all of our our days as a tribute to our loved ones. Thank you.
I am praying for you, Sid and Bek, your parents, and all of Hyatt's extended family and friends. As the mother of a little girl, I also say a special prayer for Hyatt's parents.
I have no doubt that you will all see Hyatt again in Heaven...and you will see glimpses of her on Earth as you watch Sid and Bekah grow into beautiful women...just like their mother.
Please feel our arms wrapped around you right now.
Oh Troy, I never wanted to believe that this time would come. I've often gone to my fridge, looked at your Christmas card from last year, or the one taken at the park with "the four of us"(high school friends), or even some that have been posted and said to myself, "NO WAY"! I treasure, now more than ever, the time God allowed us to reconnect in Denver, have a sleepover like the old days, hear her craft a belch like no other girl I know...she cooked for me...made yummy chicken and green beans with all-purpose seasoning(1st g.b.'s I've ever liked), lots of laughter and good, good talks. When I think of her, I recall how much she loved the shades between coral and red and wore them well, her silly/goofy expressions, her concern and action for the environment and mostly her encouraging, loving spirit! Many at our church have been praying for you and the family and we will continue to do so. Thank you for allowing God to use you so mightily during a time of such sorrow. My comfort is knowing that God loves Hyatt more than us and IS caring for her even now. I pray that the comfort and peace of the Lord will be with you all at this time.
Troy,
I read your latest entry earlier and as I said my prayers tonight as always, praying for Hyatt, you, both your families and all of your friends I had a thought I wanted to share with you. I thought about Sid and Bek and Hyatt. This blogsite has been a wonderful tribute to Hyatt, all the outpourings of love and prayers from her best friends, and from people who wished they could have known her, like myself. Your thoughts you have shared have been a reflection of your love for Hyatt and your concern for the girls. Your pain in losing her, yet your continued faith that God is good and loving. I thought wouldn't it be wonderful to create a book of all the entries, comments, and pictures for your girls for when they are older to help them understand, and let them know Hyatt through all the memories shared, all the people she inspired and how she was loved. As you come to the end of your journey, Hyatt is beginning her eternal life with her Lord, and a new angel will be singing in Heaven and watching forever over you and your girls. One day you will all be together again. Have peace in knowing her peace, and may God bless you and may the Holy Spirit comfort you.
Troy,
I read your latest entry earlier and as I said my prayers tonight as always, praying for Hyatt, you, both your families and all of your friends I had a thought I wanted to share with you. I thought about Sid and Bek and Hyatt. This blog site has been a wonderful tribute to Hyatt, all the outpourings of love and prayers from her best friends, and from people who wished they could have known her, like myself. Your thoughts you have shared have been a reflection of your love for Hyatt and your concern for the girls. Your pain in losing her, yet your continued faith that God is good and loving. I thought wouldn't it be wonderful to create a book of all the entries, comment, and pictures for your girls for when they are older to help the understand, and let them know Hyatt through all the memories shared, all the people she inspired and how she was loved. As you come to the end of your journey, Hyatt is beginning her eternal life with her Lord, and a new angel will be singing in Heaven and watching forever over you and your girls. One day you will all be together again. Have peace in knowing her peace, and may God bless you and may the Holy Spirit comfort you.
Check the counter...over 1 million people have checked in and prayed for Hyatt.
Dear Troy,
I am a friend of a friend of Pete's, and I've prayed for your family and followed the updates since the beginning. I am so sorry that your life has moved in this direction, and I'm so thankful for your willingness to remind us of the lessons we all need to incorporate in our lives--daily. I pray that you all will be wrapped in God's comforting peace and in the support of those who know and deeply love you, Hyatt and your family.
God's peace,
Kim in Tennessee
Dear Troy,
I have never met you or Hyatt. I just found out about your situation through my photographer's blog. I am awestruck at your ability to inpire others in your time of need. You inspire me to be a better wife and mother. Just the other day I stopped and painted with my 5 year old little girl during my 2 year old's nap. I usually get laundry, cleaning, and now Christmas decorating done during that time while she has her own quiet time. It was priceless time spent and I thank you for that. I often get caught up in daily activities and don't stop to do what is really important. Hearing your story and reading your blog has made me appreciate what I have been given. There is a reason for everything that happens on this earth and maybe the reasoning behind this tragic event is this very thing. You inspiring people to appreciate their blessings. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. My thoughts are with you daily.
You dont know me....but I stumbled upon your site somehow! And I am sure it was God leading me there! I have 2 small boy's and a husband, and have found myself taking them for granted, and through your encouraging words and your trials I am learning to never do that again!!! I also know that you are reaching MANY people for Christ with your story and your amazing faith!!! and is'nt that what we are here for in the first place?!?!?!
I will never understand why we have to suffer sometimes but I can always lean on the fact that we dont see the whole picture, only God does and he will get us through it all if we only ask him and give it all to him!!! and that to me is SOOOO comforting!!! I will continue to lift you & your family up in prayer as you go through this together, I wish I had better words that could take all the pain away!! May you rest in the palm of God's hand right now!! Jamie Sommer,Wanamingo MN
Troy,
My prayers are with Hyatt,Sid, Bekkah and you.
Your words are so true, that Hyatt is God's gift to you and the girls, as well as family and friends.
Hyatt is an inspiration to so many of us. She has inspired me to try to be a better wife, mother and friend. Thank you, Hyatt.
Troy, you and the girls are also God's gifts to Hyatt. Some of what made her a wonderful wife was the love of her husband. And the love she felt from the girls took her to motherhood extraordinaire. We all have friends, but with Hyatt, you have a TRUE friend.
Hyatt, the peace and love of God has been and will be with you ALWAYS.
Troy,
My prayers are with Hyatt,Sid, Bekkah and you.
Your words are so true, that Hyatt is God's gift to you and the girls, as well as family and friends.
Hyatt is an inspiration to so many of us. She has inspired me to try to be a better wife, mother and friend. Thank you, Hyatt.
Troy, you and the girls are also God's gifts to Hyatt. Some of what made her a wonderful wife was the love of her husband. And the love she felt from the girls took her to motherhood extraordinaire. We all have friends, but with Hyatt, you have a TRUE friend.
Hyatt, the peace and love of God has been and will be with you ALWAYS.
Troy,
Wherever her spirit is right now, Hyatt may also be considering her part in your marriage...highs, lows, things she wishes she had done differently. Would you want her to spend time on regret? No. Would you forgive her the harsh words she may have said when tired, hungry, or stressed? Of course. You didn't marry because either of you are perfect...you married because you are perfect for each other.
I am certain that, right now--at this very moment--Hyatt's thoughts of you are similar to yours of her--filled to overflowing with great tenderness, great forgiveness, and most importantly, great, great love.
Dear Troy,
Thank you for changing the way that I look at life. Im so sorry for your heartache, for your girls, and all that you are going through. I have never met you or anyone in your family but I wanted you to know that you are truly making a difference in the lives of others. It's not fair that this is happening to you...I am deeply sorry, but if there is any chance that you can see anything good come from this terrible tragedy, please see that you have changed me, and many others. You, and Hyatt, have made me a better person. I will always keep you in my heart and prayers.
God Bless you and your family. I will continue to pray for your beloved, for you and your children. Thank you for sharing. You may never know the depth of comfort your words bring to others.
Troy,
I am so sorry. I pray for you and your girls and for Hyatt's peaceful return to God. The humility, honesty and strength that you have shown is remarkable. Your daughters have a wonderful father.
Love,
Emily Drosback
Dear Troy,
My heart breaks for you and your girls. I am so sorry to hear of your precious loss. I live near in Victory Lakes and Hyatt's story has broken our hearts and opened up my eyes to appreciate everything about my husband and children. Thank you for being so inspirational in such a devastating time in your life. You inspire me.
It is very clear that Hyatts love as a mom will be evident to your two beautiful girls. They are very blessed to have such a strong, loving, and amazing father in their life.
I can't even fathom the pain you are experiencing at this moment but please know that so many hearts are breaking for you and we are praying for strength to get you through this.
Your girls have a wonderful life ahead of them...enjoy watching them grow into beautiful young ladies and make Hyatt proud.
You are amazing...
God bless.
Troy,
My heart is sad beyond words to express it. I only know you and Hyatt and your babies through this blog but I have come to feel like I've known you all for a long time. I am the mother of a daughter that is around the same age as Hyatt and I cannot fathom the loss of her. As I sit here looking at the picture of Hyatt holding the baby (your favorite picture)I just cannot grasp the reality of what has happened.
My thoughts and prayers have been with you since September 11th, and will continue to be with you as you, Sid and Bekah continue on. May God bless you, your children and your family.
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