I moved Hyatt to a Hospice facility today. I'm pretty numb right now - it is the realization that this is the place that, without God's intervention, Hyatt will die that is really dragging on me.
I just can't really fathom what life is going to be like without her. It has been almost seven weeks now - I still expect to see her holding the kids when I walk in the door... or see her doing a quick-change for a Curves workout - or see her smiling at me in wonder as the kids do their amazingly sweet things.
Every time I think about it I just want to ball up and cry. It is such a lonely place to be.
Pray for her ...
Troy.
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I (Troy's brother Pete) have opened this site to provide updates for friends and family on Hyatt's condition. As a warning, there will be explicit details on her condition and some posts may not be for the feint of heart. Troy has asked that I do this, so that someday (soon!) Hyatt can read the details of exactly what happened.
Mary-Hyatt F. Nolan
43 comments:
troy, hang in there. we know how lonely you must feel... painful as it is, isn't this still better than losing her forever? there is still hope ... may you find the courage and joy to live through this hardship. best wishes.
I am continuing to pray for Hyatt and for you and the girls. I have never met any of you but feel like I know you through the blog. I do know that you all have touched my life in so many ways.
I'm a lurker and I've been praying for you and your family daily. Your posts are so genuine and you've truly put my own life into better perspective. I'm saddened that you are going through this, but grateful for your emotional honesty in your updates. Thank you for the update, I'm sure it is hard to express what you're going thru. This allows me to pray for your specific needs in addition to the miracle we've all been praying for. Stay strong. Our God will get you through this.
Father, I just pray that You, the God of peace and comfort, will be with Troy and the family, right now.
May he feel Your personal presence and warmth of who You are. Thank you Lord.
Troy, we are here with you. Praying, supporting, loving, even at a distance. There is no time or space with spiritual things. Now is the time for you to stand up for who you KNOW God is. Believe in HIM, and Him alone. Not me, not anyone else. Just Him. He is worthy of your trust. That same God who has revealed Himself to you at a younger age, is the same God of Love today.
His Word cannot return void.
I have been checking this blog everyday to see the updates hoping that one day I would read about a miracle. I am a stranger to your family, but I think about you everyday. My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers.
I have been following Hyatt's story since the beginning and want you to know that I have been praying daily for you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you and my heart aches for you. I hope and pray that God's grace will comfort you and your children.
Troy,
I continue to pray everyday and hope for Hyatt's recovery. The Hospice facilities are wonderful and she will be well cared for. You and/or Allen can contact me at anytime if you need anything.
Tracy
Troy,
Praying for you, Hyatt, and your girls.
Emily Drosback
Hi Troy,
I go to church with Heather Stanzick. I am in prayer with you, her and many others for peace for you and your family and a miracle. I know as children of God, we can walk in to the throne room and ask for what we want, i also know that sometimes he has other plans in mind. I pray that the Lord will hold your whole family in his hands and you will feel the love that the body of christ has for you and your family, even though we have never met..all we can do is love you and your family like Jesus...
god Bless
janice
Stay strong Troy. May you feel the love, warmth and prayers we are all sending your way....may you not feel so lonely during this time when you feel most alone. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.
You've taken a most difficult step, and my heart aches for you. For what it's worth, the hospice caregivers I've met have been wonderful, caring and kind people. You're in my prayers.
Barb
My heart aches... I try to think of something to say and there are no words! All there is, is tears. I pray and I pray everyday probably every waking hour. The pain that you are experiencing and the pain of not knowing what is ahead for you and the girls is the hardest part. I pray for you, Syd and Bek, we love you all and I wish there was something I could do or say to help with the loneliness. I pray you will continue to lean on GOD and those around you. Family, Friends and even strangers are there for you. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU! I know we cant do what you want more than anything else, but we can be with you. We can hold your hand and pray with you, we can cry with you, we can celebrate Hyatts life with you, we can honor Hyatt with you, we can be there in silence with you, whatever it is you need reach out!
Troy,
I check your blog everyday. Yours is an inspiring love story. I have never met Hyatt and yet I feel I know this amazing woman. I can't imagine the agony of the decisions you have had to make but I'm sure you have made every one with love. I pray for peace for Hyatt, you, and the girls.
Judy Penny
Troy- We have never met and I only know of you and your family through Hyatt's blog and what occurred 7 weeks ago, but please know that you and your dear family are in my thoughts and prayers and I check in on the blog daily. I can't pretend to even imagine what you're going through, and I hope that the love, strength and support of so many who care for you, Hyatt and your girls helps you through this most difficult time. Wishing you peace and strength always...
Ashli Matus George
Troy,
It takes a tremdendous--perhaps the greatest--act of love to let someone go...to gently place them in God's hands. You have our support, our love, our tears, and our prayers now and always. We are here for you.
Troy,
I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers all the time. I can not imagine all the thoughts and emotions that you are experiencing. Give Hyatt and the girls a kiss for me. Have someone give you a hug from me. Rest in the hands of the Father who will give you peace that passes all understanding. Hospice is a wonderful place, and you can be assured Hyatt will receive the ultimate care she needs right now. Love and kisses from Greensboro, NC
Jennifer
P.S. If you need a laugh, we'll send you the whoopie cushion!!! :)
troy,I know you are going through a very difficutl time, but rememmber the God said "Never will I leave you and never will I forsake you"! My family and I will continue to pray for Hyatt and for your whole family. May God Bless you!!!
Troy - I am praying for Hyatt - and for you. You are being so strong and are taking wonderful care of her. Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry this is not going the way it was hoped. There really are no words of consolation for you as it's the worst of nightmares...
I am hoping that the caring persons of hospice will help guide you through the tough times ahead.
Hold on, the kids need you more than ever.
Dear Troy
My sister was at SPEA with Hyatt which is how I learned of your story. Please take comfort in knowing hundreds of people, many you do not even know, are praying for Hyatt and your family daily. She sounds like she was an amazing and graceful woman. Hospice is truly a special kind of caring and will take wonderful care of Hyatt and you.
Hyatt has inspired so many of us reading this blog to become better mothers, wives, husbands, sisters, etc. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
Hi Troy,
I'm a complete stranger but found your blog on another blog I follow.
Please know I'm praying for you at this terrible time. I cannot imagine what your precious family is going through.
Sending prayers and hugs from Illinois.
Amy
Troy, I haven't left a comment since I first heard about Hyatt (I know her from EPA), but I have been following along and praying for you all ever since. My heart breaks for you today. I wish you peace and will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Troy,
I truly hope that you can feel the prayers and love that our comments convey. The internet has been accused of many bad things but at a time like this, I would love to know that you can feel our hugs and prayers.... God bless.
Troy, Hyatt, & girls:
You are in the palm of the Lord's hand. He will not leave you or forsake you. He loves you beyond measure! I know that this has to be so hard on you, and if you want to ball up and cry, do it! You are allowed to. Hyatt's life and yours as well has been such a testimony to millions of people around the world! I pray that the Lord will lay a blanket of peace & calmness over you. We love you and pray continually for you all.
Praying for you Troy and for your sweet girls and the rest of the family as you continue on this journey.
God has a plan, and will follow through, whatever that plan may be. My heart goes out to you- I can't even imagine being in your shoes. May you find some peace in all of this and cling to all of those wonderful memories you have of your time with Hyatt.
White light and prayers for Hyatt's health, for you, the girls and the extended family that knows her.
Troy, we continue to pray for you, Hyatt, the girls and the whole family. We have followed since the first week and also get updates at Peach Church where Hyatt grew up. We knew her then, lost touch, and have learned so much about what a smart and talented grown-up she became. God Bless you all, Abbie & Don Wheeling
I have been reading your blog since early in your tradgedy. I am sorry that you and your girls have been going through this. I do not know you, Hyatt, or any of your family-but I pray for a miracle to touch your lives. I pray that God gives you all the strength you need to handle all that He sends your way. I pray that one day I will open your blog and you will tell us that Hyatt is once again with you. But for now, God is watching and His will be done. My thoughts are with you as you wait to see His good works.
Troy,
I'm praying for all of you. I too, have a child that seems to have that intuition about all things spiritual-remember that God will speak to you through them..this is a huge gift and blessing. Listen to her and you will hear His grace and mercy. My heart breaks for you and I know no words can truly comfort you so just know that the prayers of thousands are surrounding you. Your words through this tragedy have transformed me in some way..just the simple..go hug your husband,wife, kids have meant so much to me. I am in the hustle and bustle of raising 4 children and how easy it is to get caught up in the trivial stuff that brings us all down. You have reminded me to savor each day with those I love. Your wife sounds like one of those people that God bestowed an abundance of life, love and compassion for others upon. She is living proof that living life by serving as the hands and feet of Jesus is the ultimate gift. Continued prayers to you, Hyatt and your girls.
Troy,
I just want to give you a hug. What a heartwrenching thing you are going through. I wanted to share that I have been where you are. My husband passed away 7.5 years ago. At the time I had 1.5 year old twins. There is not a day that goes by that we dont talk about him. I wish I could tell you thats it all going to be ok, its so hard. Your girls will be fine. Children are so resiliant its you that needs the care. My boys have no memories of their dad, we watch video and look at pictures and they do miss out on having a dad on earth, but do talk and share about their angel dad. Just remember in your dark days, when you are curled up in that ball that God is with you. He will never leave you.
Sara
Troy, Like so many of the posters on here, I don't know your family, but have been praying for Hyatt, as well as for the rest of you, since the first day I read the site. Our God is a good God, and we are praying that Hyatt, you and the girls, as well as the entire extended family, to feel the love of your Heavenly Father. We have prayed for Hyatt's healing, and will continue to do so. There is such a huge community of people lifting your family to the throne of God, only because of your love for Hyatt, and our love of her through this blog.
I just want to thank you, Hyatt, your family and friends for reminding all of us where we should turn during difficult times. Your love for God and your family has truly blessed my life and the lives of everyone who reads your blog. I just had to thank you for getting us on the right track. I will continue to pray for you and your family!
I just listened to one of Hyatt's songs---lovely just lovely voice. What a wonderful gift she has made to us with her recordings. Praying for her to sing again--either here or in heaven. May God be with you, your family and dear Hyatt.
Kimberly Borom
organist and vocalist, Holy Trinity Catholic Church
I am thinking today(halloween) is your first 'holiday' experience with the kids without Hyatt's participation. I'm sure it is hard and for some reason I am thinking of your heavy heart just going through the motions...and wishing you a bit of fun :)
I don't knnow you but have been reading your blogs and just want to say that I do pray for you almost everyday. You and your babies are in my heart and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. God Bless You!
Praying for you tonight. Hang in there.
Oh Troy.... Mateo and I are just aching for you and the girls. We are so sorry for what you are going through and so wish that we could help. I don't know if this helps or not, but you and Hyatt have really impacted our lives - we learn from your faith, your love, and your focus on what is important in life. Please know that her life has made and continues to make the world a better place. We love you !
I have been following & praying for your family. I am a mother of 2 small children, too. I was told about you all from your neighbor..
I am praying that today, being all saints sunday, a miracle will happen...God Bless
What I remember most about Hyatt from our graduate school days is DETERMINATION. And, I have seen her carry that on with her family, career, and everything she does. No matter what is tossed our way, Hyatt would want us all to continue living our lives with the same determination to love our family, love our careers, love our environment, and love life to most every single day.
Troy, we think of you, Hyatt, Sid, and Bekah everyday and will continue to do so.
I will keep you, Hyatt, and the kids in my prayers. Keep trusting in God and know that whatever happens it will be okay. God will not leave you in despair. The power of prayer is truly amazing. God Bless you, Troy and thank you for keeping us all posted on Hyatt's status!
Oh Troy....We are praying for you and the girls. I don't even know you, Hyatt, or the girls....but I too, can't even imagine the girls going through life without their mommy; and you going through life without your beautiful wife by your side. I'm praying so hard for all of you, and keep trying to believe there will be a post from you saying that Hyatt "woke" up. My heart truly aches for you and the girls.....this is just so sad. No child/children should have to go through losing a parent...and you a wonderful-loving wife. I know nothing we say on here can make it better or easier for you...but just want you to know that we pray for you,Hyatt,and the girls each day.
Hello Troy,
Hang in there brother. She will be getting the best care that she can get. Hope is still alive!! I am not sure you have heard from Heidi, but she feels the same way. My prayers are always with you.
Chris
I am so sorry.
I don't know you, but have been following your blog and praying for your family.
I wanted to share the lyrics of this Steven Curtis Chapman song, as so many are praying for you, Hyatt, and your family--so many friends and strangers.
I will not pretend to feel the pain you’re going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you’ve known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don’t know
Well, I’ll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we’re at the mercy of God’s higher ways
And our ways are so small
But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees
It’s such a privilege for me to give this gift to you
All I’d ever hope you’d give me in return
Is to know that you’ll be there to do the same for me
When the tables turn
And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you, yeah
I’ve given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you
I’ll carry you
I’ll take you to Jesus on my knees
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2Ozli3yTVs
Hello Troy. My daughter (17) was in the ICU (rm 10) at Prince Wm while you were there. I would pass Hyatt's room as I walked in & out of the unit. We were very fortunate to be able to take our daughter off the vent & home, where she is now happy, healthy, and recovered. Like Hyatt, she also had seizures & had to be intubated. If this offers you any comfort, Julia doesn't remember anything about the seizures and says she never felt any pain. Hyatt hopefully also felt no pain. I just thought you might want to know that ~ that Hyatt probably didn't feel any pain or suffer. My thoughts & prayers are with you.
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